Wednesday, 8 June 2016

How to be a real and true friend

How to be a real and true friend

Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many won't, and you'll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one. To be a good friend and deepen a friendship to make it last, just follow these steps.

Keep your promises. Don't ever make a promise that you can't keep -- or at least don't make a habit of it. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation and trust that the friendship is strong enough for the no's as well as the yes's. If you just cannot go, give your friend a gift and tell him or her sorry. Nobody's perfect, and it's okay if you skip out on a promise once in a blue moon, but don't make it a regular thing. If this is recurring over time then you will probably be seen as not trustworthy as you can not be trusted to be committed to someone such as your friend.

Be dependable. Being dependable is one of the most important aspects of being a good friend. Your friend will need you for support, especially in hard times. Nobody likes a fake, and nobody wants one for a close friend. It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will..." but never follow through. If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually they'll stop believing what you say.

Be respectful. Good friends show respect for each other by being openly and mutually supportive. If your friend has certain values and beliefs that don't align with your own, respect his or her choices and be open to hearing more about them. If you want your friend to trust you, then your friend should feel comfortable voicing opinions that you may not agree with, or discussing a new perspective with you. If your friend thinks that you'll shoot down any interesting or original idea that he or she may have, then your friendship won't be valued.

  • Friendship is important because the human being is a social animal and needs friends to talk to, spend time with and to be supported by. In turn, it is great to be able to support, listen to and help others you know you can trust deeply. Friends are people who are there for you and prove it time and again. Friendship gives you strengths that you cannot derive merely from being alone.

  • You don't have to spend a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart. A phone call can mean as much as a visit.
  • Enjoy one another's company. It's not all about bleeding hearts and advice to the lovelorn - or at least, it shouldn't be. Be sure to have fun together and do spontaneous activities now and then. Be a positive force in your friend's life.
  • A friend who is only available at school or work is still a friend. Be very glad for that special kind of friendship associated with the place where you share time together.
  • If your friend makes a promise and doesn't keep it then don't do the same to them or you will keep repeating the pattern.
  • Don't set too many expectations and rules. Allow your friendship to evolve and change naturally.
  • Tease friends about something they're proud of. The better you know your friend, the easier it is to find the things they're sensitive about and use teasing to pick them up instead of tearing them down
  • Don't try to be the same as your friend - differences are what make great friends. Plus, it can get irritating. Embrace your differences and be proud of them! Do make sure not to be so different that your friendship breaks.
  • Tell your friend how much you appreciate their company or how they were with you when you needed them. It will brighten up their day and affirm your friendship.
  • Honest communication is a basic foundation in a friendship. If you and your friend can't talk to each other freely then you are set up for a difficult and possibly doomed relationship.
  • Be there for your friend during hard times